Thursday, November 08, 2007

Dear...

Dear Chase,
You are so cute I can't handle it! You and your glasses and freckles! Anyway, why why why do you think your boyfriend almost choking you is not a cause for concern? You are kinda scary actually. I like you!
love,
the writer who wrote you a horrible boyfriend and broke your leg

Dear 'Timo,
MLS will call you, I swear! It'll be like in the 40,000s though, so you gotta wait. I'm thinking of making up a team for you, what do you think? That Chase is a cutie right? Why won't he tell you the name of his boyfriend who he is breaking up with anyway? What a weirdo.
love,
the writer who gave you an awesome name

Dear Thomas,
I'm not speaking to you,
no love,
the writer who is trying not to make you one-dimensional

Dear Ramos,
WHY THE HELL won't you tell me what the big secret/conspiracy is all about? WTF man! You are *this* close to telling your brother 'Timo but what about me?! Goddamnit!
love,
the writer who made you chubby

Dear Amy,
I would so be getting 'Timo to buy me milkshakes all the time too. By the way, what's up with your mom and her "extra shifts" at work?
love,
the writer who forgot to make someone up to babysit you and broke your wrist

Dear Marta,
I can't believe you kill chickens for a living. You have to be up to some dastardly plan! Please to be letting me know, kthanxbai!
love,
the writer who sent your husband to Afghanistan :(

Dear Doe,
What the hell is your part in all this?
love,
the confused creator

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