Harribull

Yesterday I read my entire "novel" in one sitting for the first time. I exclaimed outloud at least five times in the first four pages "oh my god, this is horrible!" Oh the shame! The two main protagonists meet way too early. There are cringe-inducing descriptive passages. It is so clinical! The language is clunky! Where is the art?!

Thankfully after the fifth page it settled down. Not much, but at least I didn't feel like covering my face. Later on I actually wrote some good scenes, scenes I went eek! at, that disturbed me. I could've done with more dialogue, because it freshens the story a bit. I may add a few scenes, kill some prose, make more jokes, add more bickering and more mushiness. I found one typo, which ended up being quite interesting, very subliminal. I did my best to not touch it at all yesterday. Maybe let it settle in a bit before editing.

Lastly, I thought of switching the ending around but after I read it last night, I think it's just right.